Oil - it’s not you it’s me.
Posted 02-03-2009 at 01:19 PM by mattW
Ah Oil, we’ve had plenty of good times together haven’t we? Remember me learning to drive… buying my first car… our first road trip together. We’ve made some pretty good memories… you and I. But if I’m honest I think we should start seeing other fuels. The last thing I want to do is hurt you but I think we are just drifting apart, heading in separate directions. You are having such a fantastic career, you’ve really found your niche and that more expensive demographic really suits you. I know your parents in the Middle East are really proud; $100 a barrel, wow, you’ve really made it. But you know I’m not that kind of guy, it’s just not my world. It was great when your career was just starting to grow and we could afford to spend a lot of time together, we could just hop in the car and go for a drive, just because we felt like it. Our relationship used to be about freedom, the open road, but now that you’re moving on with you life I feel like I’m being left behind, playing catch up. It’s taking big sacrifices in other areas of my life to keep this relationship alive, it seems like every week I’m have to put in more and more but you just stay the same. I’m starting to question whether or not its worth all the effort. Let’s face it you’re a bit high maintenance, making all these demands about your needs for us to stay together. First it was just lubricant, but now you want me to get coolant and filters. It’s all too much.
Actually, Oil, I have a confession to make… I haven’t been entirely faithful. It started out on the internet; it was just a bit of innocent fun. You were asking more and more of me and I just needed an escape. It started off just looking, only at fuels that were way out of my reach, I thought nothing would ever happen, it was just a silly fantasy. I mean can you imagine me with a solar car, or even a fuel cell; I wasn’t being realistic. But when I went back to you it just didn’t feel the same. The spark that we had wasn’t there anymore; our relationship seemed dry and lifeless.
But then I met somebody that made me feel alive again. Sure it wasn’t what I expected; you and her are just so different. Well, yes you do know her actually, remember my childhood sweetheart? Yeah batteries… No, no she’s not like that anymore, she does way more than just toys now. She’s really turning her life around, she’s got work in laptops and cameras and she’s lost a lot of weight too, she’s looking really slim. She’s improved so much as a fuel source since we last saw each other. She’s been working on her coal addiction too, going to renewable energy meetings. She’s learnt how to deal with her needs constructively, getting her energy from healthy sources like solar and wind. It’s really refreshing to see someone who is so independent and grounded. She doesn’t need to go to exotic places around the world to recharge, she’s happy to just stay at home. I’m actually thinking I’ll probably move out with her soon, we’re thinking we’ll just get a little car together on our own; we’ll build it ourselves to start with. Maybe one day we’ll get one built by a proper car maker, but until then we’re happy to make things work in our own home built car. As long as we are together that’s all that matters.
I’m sorry it has to end, honestly there is no hard feelings. And you’ll bounce back from this, you still have your friends. I’m sure there is a rich, handsome sports car owner that will really appreciate you and give you everything you need, even as your career gets less and less mainstream. But I just can’t get batteries out of my head; I think we’re going to make a long and happy life together.
Actually, Oil, I have a confession to make… I haven’t been entirely faithful. It started out on the internet; it was just a bit of innocent fun. You were asking more and more of me and I just needed an escape. It started off just looking, only at fuels that were way out of my reach, I thought nothing would ever happen, it was just a silly fantasy. I mean can you imagine me with a solar car, or even a fuel cell; I wasn’t being realistic. But when I went back to you it just didn’t feel the same. The spark that we had wasn’t there anymore; our relationship seemed dry and lifeless.
But then I met somebody that made me feel alive again. Sure it wasn’t what I expected; you and her are just so different. Well, yes you do know her actually, remember my childhood sweetheart? Yeah batteries… No, no she’s not like that anymore, she does way more than just toys now. She’s really turning her life around, she’s got work in laptops and cameras and she’s lost a lot of weight too, she’s looking really slim. She’s improved so much as a fuel source since we last saw each other. She’s been working on her coal addiction too, going to renewable energy meetings. She’s learnt how to deal with her needs constructively, getting her energy from healthy sources like solar and wind. It’s really refreshing to see someone who is so independent and grounded. She doesn’t need to go to exotic places around the world to recharge, she’s happy to just stay at home. I’m actually thinking I’ll probably move out with her soon, we’re thinking we’ll just get a little car together on our own; we’ll build it ourselves to start with. Maybe one day we’ll get one built by a proper car maker, but until then we’re happy to make things work in our own home built car. As long as we are together that’s all that matters.
I’m sorry it has to end, honestly there is no hard feelings. And you’ll bounce back from this, you still have your friends. I’m sure there is a rich, handsome sports car owner that will really appreciate you and give you everything you need, even as your career gets less and less mainstream. But I just can’t get batteries out of my head; I think we’re going to make a long and happy life together.
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Total Comments 11
Comments
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Priceless! I love it!
Posted 05-12-2008 at 03:40 AM by KiwiEV 
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Beautiful
Posted 05-12-2008 at 07:25 AM by JRP3
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ha! That was awesome. I dugg it for ya
Posted 05-12-2008 at 09:56 AM by rbgrn
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Thats got to be the most clever article I read all year. Brilliant!
Posted 05-12-2008 at 01:01 PM by david85
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Very clever, well thought out
Posted 05-13-2008 at 05:51 AM by DVR
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Wow, that was good. I think I need to post this for the Rx7 guys.
I'd go for the A123 chick too. Look at how shiny she is. You can see yourself in her reflection. She's deep. That old oil drum just looks dull and hollow.Posted 05-15-2008 at 12:54 AM by xrotaryguy
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Just hilarious, also applies almost exactly to my ex-wife!!!
Posted 05-15-2008 at 02:03 PM by favguy
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Would someone PLEEEEEEZZZZ
Send that to George W. .......
Thanks from all of usPosted 05-22-2008 at 07:44 PM by Alex Everett
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Oh I really have to Post this in the Kit Car forum ...
Posted 05-22-2008 at 07:59 PM by -
I love it! Bold yet polite.
Posted 05-27-2008 at 03:59 PM by ElvishWarrior
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the article's a genius! really love it so much. hope you could post it in other forums...just to spread the news.
Posted 07-09-2008 at 09:58 PM by marthaspears
